Ice-y Hot!

by Vixations on June 27, 2011

It’s Monday, Monday, gotta get down on… oh, wait. No? Yeah, I didn’t think so…

Mondays suck. We all know that. Especially since they’re always SUCH a let down after a particularly fun weekend of drunken debauchery and (hopefully) naked party time. Well, I hope to give you a bit of a cure for Monday Anti-funday.

I was given the opportunity by the prolific Eden Fantasys to review some fun toys for your (but more importantly my) pleasure. If you don’t already have a vibrator of your own, well, 1. we’re probably not that good of friends, and 2. GO GET ONE RIGHT NOW! I have many. I love them all equally. </endrant>

The first one I was sent was not a traditional toy. In fact, I’ve never seen or used anything like it before, but I really liked the idea of it, so I decided to give it a try.

No idea what that is? Yeah, I wasn’t sure about it either. So let me explain:

That blue thing is the base, where you hold it, and it also where the vibration happens. The little silver thing is a SILVER BULLET that sits inside the blue holder. The thing that her weird bumpy tongue is on? That’s ice.

OOOOHHHH, right?

Yeah, that’s what I thought, too. My first ever boyfriend used ice cubes on me once, and it was amazing. Since then, I haven’t used them, not once, and it’s not because I don’t want to, it’s just not the first thing that crosses my mind when a guy starts going down on me… you know…

So, this Touche Ice vibrator is pretty crazy. It takes a little planning on your part, since you have to fill up the cup with water and put it in the freezer (that is how you make ice, after all), but it’s something that you could just keep in your freezer for a rainy day, or better yet, one of these sweltering, sticky, and horribly uncomfortable summer days. The touch of ice on your skin isn’t necessarily the most pleasurable one at first. It’s a bit uncomfortable and almost made me want to pull it away. But with patience, that uncomfortable feeling can add another level of pleasure, like hot wax. Except you definitely don’t want hot wax, or hot fudge, or anything hot in this heat wave. On top of the actual sensation of the cold, the silver bullet has multiple levels of vibration, so you can start of slow and steady, and build up the intensity as your orgasm intensifies. If you’re a clitoral girl, this is perfection, but even if you’re not, this thing packs a lot of punch for how small it is. Combined with a g-spot vibrator like this Getaway Wild one (it’s even waterproof!!)? Never before seen pleasure. Mmhmmm.

I used the Touche Ice alone this time, but next time I plan on getting someone else in on the action. Hey, maybe I should get another one so I could use it near his balls as he drips the ice cold water all over my body. Now there’s a thought.

If you haven’t experimented with temperature, you really should. There are tons of different sex toys that play on hot and cold sensations, and there are also lubes and condoms that do it too. I’ve heard a few horror stories about the lubes, so be careful to check the labels and make sure you’re not allergic to anything they put in there. And if you have sensitive skin like me, you may want to stay away from those things in general. I’d be interested to hear experiences, but mostly horror stories, as usual.

A few final words about the Touche Ice: Don’t fall asleep with it in your bed. You’ll wake up soaked and think you peed yourself. But don’t worry, I definitely didn’t do this, I just heard about someone doing it this one time…


Remember When You Have a Wife? No? Well I Do.

by Vixations on April 26, 2011

I’ve been noticing a pattern in my dating/love life lately. Historically, I was the number one girl. The girl that the guy fell head over heels for, professed some kind of undying love for, and often brought up conversations of marriage and running away together and all that pretty fantasy-life stuff. My friends were always amazed at how I could get guys to go for me, when I seemingly never wanted to go for them. How guys would be willing to date me from 10 states away, even move across the country for me, and I would never let them. I was a single girl at heart. I didn’t want to be tied down anymore. And I expressed this to the world by getting naked and throwing myself around the bedroom for as long as it took, in exchange for those few moments when pleasure engulfed my body and any fear was shattered.

I’ve always heard that people can sense the “vibes” you put out into the world, even if they’re subconscious vibes. So, apparently, my slut vibe has been ROCKING with guys at bars for some time now. But the best part about it was that the vibe that came out at bars was different than the one that came out to guys I actually might consider dating. Some sort of “I’m so independent and confident and you don’t matter that much to me” vibe came out to those guys, and it was AWESOME. They would eat that shit up, because most of the girls they met were needy and obsessed with attention and didn’t have their own lives outside of the men they dated.

I don’t know what happened to that vibe, but I’m pretty sure it’s gone. Or it’s changed, at least. I’ve lost trust in so much of society, in so many men. The naive and fun-loving girl with no regard for consequences or heartbreak is a shadow. Now? I’m like a dried up version of my old self. A dirty towel. A used condom. I’m the girl that men date right before they find the girl they ACTUALLY want to be with. The one they use so that they can figure out exactly what they don’t want.

So, in return, I’ve become the girl that is too scared and too sick of bullshit to deal with someone new who she could potentially share something real with. The girl who instead of putting herself out there, spends time with the safe guys. The ones who aren’t a threat to her heart. For example, the married guys. Now listen. I’m not trying to DATE these guys. Please. I just never had a problem spending time with them because I always thought it was a perfect situation. I could have fun, be myself, and not worry about them trying to get in my pants. I could even be the cool single friend who’s available for their cool single friends. Win win situation, right?


I’ve become the girl I always hated. The one that the married men try to take home/make out with at the end of the night because they’re drunk and vulnerable. The one that these men claim that they feel “so comfortable” with, that they have “a connection” with, the one that’s “so different from other girls” and other bullshit. Yep. That’s me. Go ahead and hate me. Even I hate me.

I’ve lost so much faith in humanity, in marriage, and in myself. I thought that people were inherently good, or that they at least had good hearts in them. Now I’m not so sure. One time the guy told his significant other about me, that he had feelings for me, and that was the first time he’s even thought of someone that way outside of his relationship. They almost broke up, but then it turned out to be a “blessing in disguise” and forced them to deal with underlying issues in their relationship. Dirty towel. Another time, the guy never brought it up again. I pretend like it never happened. Used condom.

I can never tell how drunk these guys are, if they remember what they said or did, or what will happen if I ever see them again. The few times I’ve talked to friends about it, they always tell me it’s not my fault. That men are pigs and I could have never known that they would pull that shit. But at some point, it is my fault, right? Why do I get myself in these situations over and over again?

Listening toRadiohead – All I Need



March 4, 2011

Happy Fuckday Friday! Here’s some inspiration for you. Hopefully. I don’t know about you, but sweating makes me horny. I mean, it’s probably not the actual sweating, but the things you can do that make you sweat. Like working out. After an awesome workout I feel like FUCKING (as long as we either both just [...]

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Do You Mean It?

March 1, 2011

If you couldn’t tell, lately I’m a little annoyed. A little… irritated. A little lost, really. Trying to determine the meaning of live, love, relationships, and of course, sex. Sex to me has maybe meant less to me than it does to other women. Maybe. But, as you know, I have an addiction, just like [...]

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Sometimes a String…

February 26, 2011

Strange things happen when I’m about to get my period. One thing is that I get really sad. Sad and introverted. Like the world is crashing down on my head and I cannot, for the life of me, figure out why. Then, of course, a week later I get my period and I’m all ‘OH [...]

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The *Real* Addiction

February 24, 2011

I don’t have an addictive personality. I’ve never been addicted to anything before. Although for the past few years, I thought I was actually addicted to one person. One thing. For the first time! Fortunately (or unfortunately), I never thought about what that meant, that need to be around him. That physical pull towards him. [...]

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On Shitting Where You Eat (pt. 1)

December 22, 2010

If you know me at all, in person or through the interwebs, you’ll know that I’m quite good at shitting where I eat. As in I often take people who I am close with by circumstance (personally or professionally) and make them into my lovers. As in I have extremely poor judgment from time to [...]

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On Laughing

December 8, 2010

My good friend HTG sent this to me a few months ago thinking it was relevant to my life, which clearly, it is, but it didn’t resonate with me at the time because I was so out of control in the bedroom that EVERYTHING was funny ALL THE TIME. I was always laughing, not only [...]

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#12 – In the bathroom at a bar

October 27, 2010

Luuuuuuuucy, you got some ‘splaining to dooooo! Here’s a little story about how I crossed number 12 off of my slutty life list not too long ago… There’s a bar down the road, not far from where I live, that’s pretty famous for its happy hours and Sunday afternoon dance parties. It’s basically a sports [...]

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Sometimes I Forget

September 29, 2010

It’s taken me until right now, 6 months later, to realize that this is NOT the first time I’ve hooked up with someone I live with. In fact, it’s not even the SECOND time I’ve hooked up with someone I live with. It’s the third. But it’s the second time it’s been with someone of [...]

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