I’ve been traveling to all kinds of places lately. As in, I slept in 7 different beds in 5 different cities in 3 different states over the course of 1 week. You do the math.
I blame it mostly on the quarter-life crisis, partly on my extremely persuasive friends, and sort of on my inability to make responsible decisions.
After a few short weeks of a relatively low Vixation Libido (or mojo? Vlojo? like Liz’s Blojo??), Veronica decided to come out and play. In more ways than one. It was pretty shitty timing for her, considering she was on the airplane, in the car, on the subway, in the bar, and lots of other public places that don’t warrant playtime, but she managed to do it anyway.
I’m talking about masturbation. Because I clearly can’t stop talking about it.
(I’m not always like this, I swear. I mean, maybe I am… Whatever, you are too.)
I don’t know why this happened, but all the research for my last post has made me (and the people I was visiting/staying with) pretty frisky. As in, when someone brought up porn or nakedtime or vaginas or all of the above, we found ourselves watching squirting videos. Crowded around a computer screen. In the same room. ALL TOGETHER. Without a man in sight.
I’ll let you fantasize for a minute.
…
After a while, we JUST couldn’t handle it anymore. Like, we either had to go on the street corner and find a homeless man to stick his dick in us, or we had to masturbate. But, um, this wasn’t my house. I didn’t have any of my toys. And was I going to feel comfortable masturbating with someone else around, in THEIR apartment?
Thank GOD for the wine.
We both said, ‘YEP!’ and went into separate rooms. And by separate rooms, I mean she closed the door to her bedroom with her computer and I stayed in the living room with mine.
‘What if my roommate comes home?’ she asked.
‘She can join in!’ I declared.
Yup. Wine and squirting videos make get all crazy-like.
Before we got too comfortable, my friend, the amazing girl that she is, knew about my need for penetration, and offered me her $200 vibrator. I mean, some people are weird about using other people’s toothbrushes. And some people aren’t. Yeah, that’s all there is to it.
AND THAT’S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR!
**This post is brought to you by Wikipedia, squirting videos, and the Lelo Ina (which I need RIGHTFUCKINGNOW).
**If you or someone you know is interested in contributing to the Vixations Orgasm Fund, HOLLA ATCHA GIRL. And I’m not talking about paying me for sex. Or me paying you for sex. I GET IT FOR FREE BITCHES.
Listening to: The xx – You Got the Love
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
See, squirting videos have the exact opposite effect on me. In fact I need to know ahead of time that squirting is present so I can look away and don’t lose my mojo (and not in a good way).
…why does the man need to be homeless?
Curvy Jones – Good to know. I guess we’ll have to find a different kind of porno to watch together!
Martin – I think that was just our extreme justification at the time to masturbate. Also, I was in a new city and it was dark. Obviously there are only homeless men there.
I’d be more down to share a vibrator than I would to share a toothbrush. Toothbrushes are JUST NOT CLEANABLE.
I am the post secret about the guy who likes to go down during that time of the month, He didn’t love me, he was just into wierd stuff — while it was interesting, the guy was a douchebag
true. as we know. very true. some people ARE totally uncomfortable sharing toothbrushes…
i’ll never understand…
Whatever, HTG.
I’ll never understand either. Sharing is caring, right? RIGHT??
That vibrator is the Cadillac of vibrators, it’s amazing. I took the plunge & spent a ton of money on it when I read nothing but rave reviews & it’s totally worth it. I’m worried my boyfriend might get jealous, it’s SO GOOD.
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