(I just had to get this out.)
I believe in the power of the universe. I believe in putting yourself out there. I believe in asking the universe when you want something, and doing everything in your power to get it. I believe that if you ask nice enough, and work hard enough, you’ll get what you want.
And I am RIGHT.
Want to know how I know? Well, a lot of people have been talking and writing about the universe lately. About serious things, like making your life better, putting that stride back in your step, fixing your relationship, or finding a job you really enjoy. These things are hard to measure because they take a lot of time. I totally believe in them, and I support everyone who is working to make those changes, but I try not to worry about things of that caliber too much. I try to focus on the little things. The things that make me ecstatic. Even if the ecstasy only lasts for a brief time. I’d rather be face-fucking body-shaking happy for 20 minutes than be simply content for 5 hours.
I have been thinking about everything orgasm-related for the last few weeks. Not only thinking about orgasms, but also writing about them, watching people give/get them, and practicing giving/getting them. And guess what? It paid off. Really. Really really really. As in, you really won’t believe this because I don’t even believe it, because it happened so fast, but… I SQUIRTED. MULTIPLE TIMES. ALL OVER EVERYTHING.
And the oily banana pumpkin seed guy wasn’t even there!
(Are you sick of him yet? How many more times can I POSSIBLY link to him??)
It was definitely the roughest, sexiest, most unexpected experience of my sexual life. And I have actual battle wounds to prove it. But I can’t even write about that part right now because it hurts SO MUCH and there is no thing or person in this universe that is coming even remotely near my vagina for at least a week.
So, all you bitches who are all ‘oh yeah, I squirt,’ like it’s no big deal? I AM MOVING UP TO YOUR LEAGUE NOW. Thank you, Universe.
Watch out now.
Listening to: Kid Cudi – Make Her Say
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Happy Day! Good for you girl. I’m exciited for you!
THANKS PRETTY!! I appreciate any congrats I can get, even though I kind of want to die right now.
That’s the thing about squirting: it makes you say phrases like “face-fucking” and “body-shaking”.
Also, nice work.
Congrats
I think the right guy probably helps you to be able to do it. I know I can’t with just any guy. Hotness and skill factor plays lol
Please tell me there is a follow up blog post coming.
Simon – YES. And thanks!
Andhari – That definitely makes sense. I don’t know WHAT it was with this! He wasn’t really anything special but..
LA Idiot – …there WILL be a follow up to discuss that. Obviously.
Congrats! This is certainly something I never thought I would be congratulating someone on…..
Ahhhh congratulations! Hahahahaha!
YAYAYYYYY!! I am so proud of you. I’m gonna cry.
I’m JEALOUS.