Out With a Bang

I’m alive! It’s true! (Hi Martin!) It’s not that I haven’t been doing anything worth writing about (because I have), it’s just that I haven’t had the time to sit down and explore it after the fact. It is summer, after all, and that means sun, sweat, and tequila.

At least that’s what it means to me (and hopefully you too).

So summer is probably the best time for things to be over, I mean OVER (for realsies) with the Roomie. Luckily, before we had another drawn-out Gchat conversation about how this just isn’t a good idea, we had some fun in the shower.

It started out as just the two of us in the shower, but it was the morning, and we were pretty stinky (read: covered in beer and dirt) after a heavy night of drinking outside, so we invited a friend. The kind of friend that helps you in more ways than one. I’m talking about my toothbrush. Because I really like brushing my teeth in the shower, don’t you? My teeth and mouth just feel so much cleaner after a good shower-brushing. Especially since I have an awesomely powerful electric toothbrush. And, well, the Roomie, after complaining about not liking to brush his teeth in the shower (weirdo), suggested that maybe my mini vibrating teeth cleaner would be great on another part of the body.

Can you guess what that body part was? I bet you can.

Before I could even breathe, my legs were straddled, the head of the toothbrush was on my clit, and I was on the verge of an orgasm. That fast?? THAT FAST! It was a kind of stimulation I’ve never felt before. The combination of the vibrations and the movement of the brush just put me over the edge. I practically fell out of the shower. Or onto the ground of the shower. Or became horizontal somehow. It was that good. Too good in fact that I came multiple times before the Roomie even penetrated, which says a lot considering I usually need the penetration in addition to the clit stimulation to orgasm. NOT THIS TIME!

After he bent me over, he gave me the toothbrush so he could focus on holding my hips. I almost couldn’t hold the toothbrush in place since my body felt limp with pleasure. He slowed down for a second saying, “I think you came!”

Well no shit, man.

“No but you REALLY came. Like there’s cum on me. And it’s not mine.”

Umm, sorry? Except not sorry because it was awesome. I think shower sex is fun because it allows people to see and notice these things, but not be grossed out by them since everything gets washed away no matter what.

I know, I know what you’re thinking. I’m SO DISGUSTING because how could I put my TOOTHBRUSH that I put in my MOUTH on my VAGINA. Well, the thing is, the tip of the head of the toothbrush (hehe) needed to be replaced at that point, which is what sparked the whole conversation in the first place. If I was going to throw it out anyway, why not get one final use out of it, right?

This isn’t something I would recommend. Okay FINE I’m lying. It is a little strange, maybe, but really? It’s just too good. And you should probably start counting down to the day when your toothbrush starts to get dull and you need to replace it. Which is about once every three months. And tell your man (or convince your woman) to get ready for a few mind-blowing orgasms. Or maybe get a separate toothbrush that you only use for pleasure. But don’t abuse it, because I have a feeling that this type of orgasm might trump all other orgasms and make everything else feel dull. Like how you’re not supposed to have sex on ecstasy. Or something.

So without going into any further detail because it makes me crazy just thinking about it, I’d like to say that although I’m a little bummed that the wild sex all over the house might end, we ended on a high note, me and the Roomie. Went out with a bang. Literally!

Listening to: Mumford & Sons – Little Lion Man